Surrender.

"There is nothing easier than getting into the right relationship with God, unless it is not God you seek, but only what He can give you! If you have only come as far as asking God for things, you have never come to the point of understanding the least bit of what surrender really means!"- Oswald Chambers.

Surrender.
This is what the Lord has convicted me about at 3:05 am on a tuesday night.
I've been shown that my life has been based on myself. My Christianity is based off of my terms.
The Lord told me and showed me that there is something in the way of my full surrender.
I don't know if I can nail that down to a pinpoint, but I do know I am not fully surrendered.
I feel that saying that I full surrender is foolish, though.
I obviously can't just say "Okay. Surrendered." and move on with life!
I don't want to make this decision based off emotion and life my life how I want by Friday.
I am scared to, even. I know that most of this is the enemy speaking, and I see that.
I would deeply appreciate your prayers as I begin to see what true surrender looks like.
The Lord is showing me something big, and I don't want to miss out on it this time.

I am sick of living my life trying to get from God.
I have not truly learned what it means to KNOW God.
I know about God, but I do not KNOW Him.
One thing I do know though, is that He is a good God.
He delivers the poor and the afflicted from those who are too strong for us.
I know that He is Sovereign, and that He will deliver me if I run to Him.
Again, please pray for me. As a brother in Christ, do not let me fall.
Keep me in check. Those of you who stumble across this, do not let it be discarded.
If you're reading this, message me, call me, text me, email me, anything.
Remind me of my surrender. I do not want a decision made in vain.


On a less important note,
Finals are almost here and over.
Equals summer.
:)

So again, please pray for me. I need it more than ever.
I have no words beyond this point.