Jealousy

Selfish Confession:
The truth is I am still very bitter.
I am still very hurt.
I now feel useless.
Am i not good enough?
Not talented enough for such a stupid little THING?
I helped you. I helped you create.
So you think it's okay to remove me once I've served that purpose?
To still use the resources that I have? But keep me far from it.
You claim to be "friend". But your actions speak otherwise.

Forget the paragraph above. Needed to be said.

Here's how today went. We'll start from 12:00 midnight.
12:00- Still working on theory.
4:30- Done.

I slept through my class.
That's just great.
Two of them to be exact.
I set 6 alarms.
SIX.
Seriously? Why does life hate me.

Woke up to go to choir. Hardly a voice, covered in sickness and drainage.
So of course, get yelled at by Mr. Smith. I'm still not good enough.

LAFM rolls around.
Jessa, I can't thank you enough.
Followed by conversation with Dr. Wubbena about my failure.

Dinner. I successfully pissed 3 people off.
They let me know how they felt.

I've had about every inch I can take, to be frank.
It's making me sick. I'm not excited about spring break anymore.
I don't want to be around the people who call themselves "friends".

Small vent:
Proverbs 17:17- A friend loveth AT ALL TIMES...

Definition of friendship: People who encourage you. Who give you rest and comfort. Someone who cares for you, and loves you at all times.

Current Outlook: People who I am surrounded by, who constantly tear me down, make me feel useless, worthless, and more of a failure than i could imagine.

Door 1: Full Ride to JBU.
Door 2: Find 500 dollars.
Door 3: One word of encouragement.

I'd take Door 3 in a heartbeat.

Lord, I am frustrated, confused, upset, broken, hurt, and pitiful.
Help me.