This title would look like a raised eyebrow

This will be a weird post for me.
As I'm typing it, I treat it as an awkward question that catches you off-guard and makes you feel uncomfortable. I don't know why so much...but I do.

I kind of lost motivation today.
I want to work hard to accomplish things, such as homework, daily tasks that need completion, as well as recreation things that require some structure; but i see myself lost inside of it all.
I'm kind of simply living right now.
Existing is a better word.
I am not living with purpose at the moment.
My instinctive Baptist Buzzer that was placed in my frontal lobe at birth immediately rings by replacing those words with "I'm supposed to be living with purpose."
But i wonder about that as well...
I guess I am just wondering. That's pretty much it.

I find myself throughout the day in a perpetual state of thought.
I break my thought process only to be replaced by the ritualistic mundane patterns and mindless repetitions of school disciplines. Even now, I wonder why I'm typing this. Why on a mac? Why now? Why am i up at 3 when i have to get my dry cleaning at 10 in the morning? Why does the dry cleaners only stay open till 12 on saturdays? Why am i getting less sleep on a friday night then my normal school days? Why am i asking so many dumb questions?

As i ask these questions, I don't necessarily ask for an answer either. I feel purely inquisitively whimsical. I ask because I can! I glory in the fact that there might not be an answer!

I feel this reflects my spiritual life at the moment. Many questions. Not very many answers. And a state of simplicity. The fine line between contentment and apathy is drawn close. I'm not sure yet how exactly i feel.

I feel like a friend disappeared too by the way.
A few of them have latley.
My fault?
Maybe. Dumb music.

Also, I think its so dumb how my emotions work.
The most unrelated, uneventful things can break my line of confused contentment and shoot me right back into apathy and a lack of motivation.

Hi.
My name is Andrew Layden.
I got some problems.
I'm sure you do too, but mine are weird.
That's all.